Saturday, July 5, 2008

Dynamic is not Static

It's a funny thing how some things never change. In such a fast-paced world, where everything is super dynamic, information feeds through the pipeline, and you're forced to anticipate and react instantaneously, change is inevitable.

Today, your portfolio is riding high. Tomorrow, you could be bottoming out.
This morning, your project is on track. One hour later, you're putting out fires for a client.
Now, you feel like taking the subway downtown. A second later, the sheer number of people at the station forces you to cab it.

Change is inevitable. Things don't remain static. They can't. It's the nature of the beast.

Except for the BQE.

For those who are fortunate enough to NOT have to deal with THAT beast, the BQE is the Brooklyn Queens Expressway. The BQE is, essentially, a fossil. Unchanged, constant, trapped in its own world.

I refer not to its physical nature, but to its temperament. Simply put, the BQE is a bitch.

It doesn't matter what you do, when you decide to drive on it, how you decided to get there, the BQE will find a way to be a parking lot. Holiday weekend? Jammed. Everyone driving smoothly? Jammed. 3 AM and no DOT road work? Jammed. You sit there looking for a reason why the road is packed, and when you inevitably hit 30 mph, when you think, "Here's why traffic's been stoopid" you get nothing. Nada. Zip. Traffic just picks up.

Maybe it's tired of being a highway. Maybe it aspired to be a parking lot when it was younger. Maybe it just gets incredible happiness from essentially turning a 13-mile stretch of 6-lane highway into a veritable source of global warming.

Me and the BQE have been on a break for a couple years, and now I remember why... When driving from Brooklyn, traffic was at a maximum speed limit of 10 mph. With no let up after 5 miles, I hopped on to the Manhattan Bridge. No doubt the parking lot extended up to at least the LIE. This was of course, at 11 PM.

BQE, I hate you. Don't call. I'm not answering. -H

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